Classic Video Games, Oh the Wonders.

Anyone remember this stud muffin to the left? I have to say, the Nintendo Entertainment System looked like it was ran through a wood chipper, found and pieced back together by some generic grandparents, all the while being painted the color of their 15-year old Cocker Spaniel with a hair pigmentation disease. That thing was ugly as sin, but good riddance was it fun. I don't know how many Saturdays were spent curbstomping goombas, but it was too many to count.




And what about this little piece of childhood? The big brother to the NES, the Super Nintendo Entertainment System was a beast. Dominating its 8-bit younger brother, this 16-bit bad boy could display characters that consisted of not one giant, single-colored pixel, but two or three!

Ok, it wasn't that bad, I actually prefer older systems because they focused more on story and such than graphics and shiny things. Again, I dominated some Mario and other games on this joker, too. Actually, it was Mario AND Yoshi (Super Mario World, anyone?). Amazing.




...Where have games gone??




Don't get me wrong, I enjoy modern games with substance that were made well (Halo, Street Fighter IV), but there are so many CRAP games out there! Developers spend tons of money on the latest graphics and such, but the end product turns out to be a poorly executed project with very little depth! I would much rather play some old school Final Fantasy than even touch half of the "RPGs" or "FPS" games that are supposedly "Next-Gen."

Next-Gen my butt! I'll stick to playing my painted-with-colors-that-were-inspired-by-grandpa NES!

And another thing, what the heck is the issue with innovation?! The Wii is a sweet idea, but there are ZERO games that are even the LEAST bit fun! If you're going to have a new idea, one thing is necessary for it to work...

MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T SUCK.

Nah, I like the Wii. It really is creative. But, seriously, better games please.

Contra III, one of SNES's glory games; this game is a treasure. It's a prime candidate for the lackluster graphics of some of the original SNES games, but good gravy mavy was it fun. Two little pixelated dudes with massive weapons that no human could possibly carry, that ran through the streets of alien-invaded earth, blowing up crap. THAT is a fun multiplayer shoot-em-up, bang-bang-your-dead game. I still play it.

Mario. What the freakin' heck happened to you? First you were running on some brick floors to get to a castle where a hot, ditsy blonde chick was kidnapped for who-knows-what (we can only imagine) by a giant inbred turtle, now you're planet hopping? Super Mario Galaxy is fun, but since when could Mario breathe in space? And are his jumps really THAT ridiculous that he could hop from planet to planet (with little to no gravity)? And Bowser now captures Peach with an ENTIRE FLEET OF AIRSHIPS AND A FRICKIN' UFO?!

Come on champ, you're my favorite mustache-wielding, crime-fighting Italian plumber, but stick to planet earth (if that's where Mushroom Kingdom is), and leave your little star buddies at home. You're a little old for them, aren't you, bud? You must be going on 50 now, and Peach still looks like she's barely legal, yet she has been getting kidnapped for years and looks exactly the same. Maybe Bowser just wants whatever fountain of youth she's drinking out of, ya know? Leave the poor guy alone, because the girl is obviously an idiot. It's time to give it up, she's helpless and doomed to have little spike-backed, demon turtle babies. After the third frickin' game that became pretty apparent.

Back on track, if you want to experience REAL games, whip out the oldest TV you can find and plug up an NES or SNES.

Sweet rapture.

Trevor