Inglourious Basterds: How to Rewrite History Like a Champ

The Holocaust was a terrible time for not only the Jews in Germany, but for those in many different nations around the world.

So Quentin Tarantino freakin' redeemed them with a Nazi-killing group of pissed off Jews in his Inglourious Basterds.

Let me just highlight some... highlights:


1. If you don't like Brad Pitt, I don't care. He was phenomenal in this. Blending about three different crappy accents and utilizing the most sarcastic attitude possible, Lt. Aldo Raine quickly becomes the obvious protagonist of the movie along with his psychotic buddies who make up the infamous "Inglourious Basterds," obviously spelled completely wrong. His quotes are, by far, some of the funniest I have heard in recent movies. His sheer lack of focus on life in general is hysterical, and his antics are equivalent to a Jewish hillbilly with a chubby for killing "Gnat-zees," as he calls them.

2. Donny Donowitz, "The Bear Jew,"----ok, pause. The BEAR JEW. How hardcore is that?! unpause----is a mad man. He got the name because he literally beats Nazis' faces in with a baseball bat. A Louisville Slugger-style, all-American, wooden baseball bat. What Holocaust-surviving Jew DIDN'T want to do that?! I'll let you see the movie to experience the rest of this glory.

3. One of my favorite characters is Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz. His over-exaggerated ruthlessness is only matched by The Bear's. His manliness can be summed up in three words: fist, jaw, death.

Let me explain, in a quick scene, a flashback of sorts, that is displayed to express the madness of Stiglitz, he is seen leaning over what is assumed to be a Nazi general's bed, waking the man up by shoving his fist into his mouth, and pushing until it breaks the man's jaw, killing him. Homefry died by fist-suffocation. BAMF.

4. If you haven't seen the movie, don't read this. If you don't care to see the movie, read this. If you want to see the movie but don't care enough about spoilers to miss out on laughing hysterically, read on. Because I promise you, this is most ridiculous scene ever, and it's near the end. If you're one of the former, skip the next paragraph or so.

SPOILERS, MEANING THERE ARE SPOILERS, MEANING BE AWARE THAT THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS, MEANING IT WILL SPOIL STUFF, sorry, here it is:

So are you a fan of Hitler? Didn't think so. If you are a fan of Hitler, get off my blog. Anyways, the previously mentioned Bear Jew and another member of the oh-so-daring Basterds go out the honorable way:

BY MELTING HITLER'S FACE OFF WITH MACHINE GUNS. The complete disregard for history in this movie makes it about as awesome as the Basterds themselves. They are literally standing on a balcony in a movie theater where many of the top-ranking SS officers are, including Hitler and Goebbels, and proceed to just cap people off with automatics while the building is burning down with everyone inside.

SPOILERS DONE, MEANING THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS END, MEANING BE AWARE THAT THE FOLLOWING NO LONGER CONTAINS SPOILERS, MEANING IT WILL NOT SPOIL ANYTHING ELSE, MAYBE:

Back to the sheer lack of historical content in this movie---it was awesome. Basically Tarantino, whose films I usually dislike, totally ripped the floor out from under the Holocaust with this. From knife-carving swastikas into Nazis heads so that they would always be recognized as Nazis, to nonchalantly scalping them for sheer enjoyment, this movie was, in my opinion,

BAMF.

Trevor