Kids...Toys?

Ah the wonders of being a kid and driving those wonderful remote -controlled ca-----wait, is that kid driving that while lying on the floor? WAIT, is that a SHELF? IS THAT CAR DRIVING ON THE WALL?!?!

Your eyes haven't deceived you. This piece of spoiled-child property is the new Air Hogs Zero Gravity Micro Car. It drives not only on the floors, but on the freakin' walls. O, and the ceilings. Did I mention it drives on the walls? Actually, it will drive on basically any flat surface. Joy.

Anyways, it's amazing. I would play with this thing right now, much less when I was eight. I remember being happy to get a beast of a remote-controlled car for Christmas that had some fat tires on it and went pretty fast. But what kid would be happy with that when they have cars that ride on the frickin' walls?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for new technology. I'm just pissed that I didn't have this as a child. I'm pretty sure the technology in this little car is better than that used to record the entire Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album. It is controlled by the remote control via infrared light and it suctions itself to whatever it's on, assuming it's flat, with this little high-powered fan on it.

Oh, and it's only $30, and will last 10 MINUTES after a 30-minute charge.

That may not sound like a decent period of time, but my monster truck-esque beast of an R/C car that I received that one fateful Christmas, mentioned earlier, was like $200 if I remember correctly, and after like 8 years of charging, would run for a solid minute, outstanding. Just enough time to get it full speed at a blazing 8 mph or so and to crash it head-on into the nearest wall, ruining all hope of it ever looking as glorious as it did when it first came out of that cheap 90's box which us 90's Christmas attendees remember oh-so-well. Those wonderous days are gone forever.

Back on track, kids toys are ballin' nowadays. My niece and nephew (oldest in 6th grade) both have cell phones. Heck, I wouldn't even have anyone to call back then except the police to tell them my refrigerator was running and they needed to catch it.

BACK on track, I'm jealous. Very. Enjoy your wall-climbing pimp mobiles you little demons.

I'll stick to my silly puddy and the occasional slinky.

Trevor